Archive | March, 2012

Donate: Crits for Water 2012

Well, it’s officially March 31st in both Japan and the US, which means I’m 25 years old across the whole world. (Happy Birthday, me!) That’s also means that Crits for Water 2012

is now open.

http://mycharitywater.org/critsforwater2012

  • You can donate at any time for a Kat-Crit. (Please check the about page for calculating donation amounts.)
  • You can also send me a water story at any time. You don’t have to donate, and it enters you into a monthly raffle for awesome prizes. Plus, it’s nice to share.
  • If you would like to donate for a Guest Critique, please wait until the date of the critique event for further instructions. (Posted on this blog.)
  • If you have any questions or concerns, email me (kat@katbrauer.com), write a comment, or use this form.

Thank you so much everyone! US$10,000, 500 people, two water projects. LET’S DO THIS.

Posted on March 31, 2012 in FAQ · Comments { 0 }

Tokyo and The Water Wars

Hey guys! I’m back. (Woo!) I had a great time in Tokyo. I went to an exhibition of Robert Doisneau’s photographs, a rainbow-brite one by O Ay, and ate more food than I thought my stomach could fit.

Also, I saw this guy:

I heard him sing! In person! I still can't quite get over it.

And also these guys.

Michael Saunders, Chone Figgins, and Ichiro of the Seattle Mariners.

Anyway. That’s not really the point. I may eventually throw up more photos over at my personal blog, but in the meantime…dudes.

Crits for Water starts tomorrow.

TOMORROW.

Yeah, I may be flipping out a little. There is so much awesome. Have you checked out the list of Guest Critiques? We’ve got a crazy amazing starting week for romance writers, with the amazing ladies that are Tessa Dare, Roni Loren, Tiffany Reisz, and Ashlyn Macnamara.

But! Before we begin, my Partner-in-Crime/the smoothest of Peanut Butters, Jess Silva, has offered up possibly one of the most perfect books for a Super Splendiferous Crits for Water Let’s Generate Buzz giveaway!

The Water Wars Super Splendiferous
Generating Buzz about Crits for Water
Giveaway!!

by Mr Cameron Stracher
Vera and her brother, Will, live in the shadow of the Great Panic, in a country that has collapsed from environmental catastrophe. Water is hoarded by governments, rivers are dammed, and clouds are sucked from the sky. But then Vera befriends Kai, who seems to have limitless access to fresh water. When Kai suddenly disappears, Vera and Will set off on a dangerous journey in search of him-pursued by pirates, a paramilitary group, and greedy corporations. Timely and eerily familiar, acclaimed author Cameron Stracher makes a stunning YA debut that’s impossible to forget.

Reading the book, I was especially struck by Stracher’s potent description. Even his word choice when not describing the parched land evoked feelings of, well, thirst. I found myself running for the tap many times, at least, and grateful that I didn’t have to worry about disease when I did. Yet Stracher also showed the dangerous, volatile nature of water (and, ahem, nature), implying that you can’t have life without sacrifice. I also very much admired the world-building, the way Stracher detailed how water affects every. single. thing. we do. How not having it can destroy everything we care about.

Which, yanno. Is kinda apt for Crits for Water.

In addition to entering, you can get extra entries in the giveaway for tweeting or blogging about the Crits for Water 2012 campaign. Just point folks straight to http://critsforwater.katbrauer.com, or you can send them towards the info pages either about the campaign or about charity: water.

Giveaway is open internationally. Huzzah!

Continue Reading →

Posted on March 30, 2012 in Giveaway · Comments { 1 }

We interrupt your scheduled programming…

So I’m in Tokyo. Which is great, PS. I’m here to watch a baseball game (yes, closet Mariners fan). I’ll be back home in plenty of time to get the campaign ball rolling, bur as my interwebs is maybe not so readily available, I thought I’d let y’all know why the emails are unanswered/the Crit Theory series is as yet unfinished.

I know, you are so dispondent despondent (I swears I can spell right, Ma!) ;)

Posted on March 27, 2012 in Uncategorized · Comments { 0 }

Crit Theory: Get to the Action

For the latter two parts of my Crit Theory series (see one, Maybe Don’t Start Early, and two, the Positive Sandwich), I thought I’d look at the other side: what I learned about writing through critiquing. I am firmly of the belief that the second best way to learn how to write well is to critique. Discovering and articulating what isn’t (or is!) working for you in someone else’s work can help you diagnose similar problems in your work.

This sexy beast knew all about action-reaction. (Yes, that's Newton. What?)

I’ve done a lot of critiquing over the last year. Fingers crossed I have the same problem this year. (Yes, I am doing Kat-Crits again, though please check the about page for how it works.) And for my more nit-picky comments when doing line-edits, a common note is this:

Switch these two clauses? I think it’s better to start with the action.

Action-Reaction.

Here, have a paragraph:

“Open up,” said his captor.

The man yanked off Glen’s blindfold. Golden hills rolled all the way to the horizon, taller than houses, sand glittering against the sky with each light breeze from the west. He’d never be able to cross that, not by himself. Glen swallowed, his throat already dry.

There are some good things going on here! (I hope.) Active, interesting verbs (yank, roll, glitter). A goal (crossing the desert). Conflict (he’s been captured!, thirst!). But the passage still feels a little off. Let’s look at it sentence by sentence, eh?

(1) “Open up,” said his captor. Blunt statement gives us an idea of the power structure, and the label captor gives us instant context.

(2) The man yanked off Glen’s blindfold. Sort sentence to emphasize the action, and it adds more tension to the captor-victim situation. He was blindfolded! Why? And why release him now?

(3) Golden hills rolled all the way to the horizon, taller than houses, sand glittering against the sky with each light breeze from the west. And here’s where we lose it. Sure, the sentence is atmospheric and interesting by itself, but it doesn’t match the tension created from the previous two sentences–at least not yet. We’ve got two good non-protag actions built in the first sentences. So rather than shifting right into describing the area (reaction), have Glen give us an action.

(4) He’d never be able to cross that, not by himself. This is nice for stakes, but it has the same problem as the above sentence–it’s thought without any context that keeps the reader invested in the scene, in the present. However, it is a good reaction to the scene established in (3). This sentence can stay here.

(5) Glen swallowed, his throat already dry. Here we go! Shock, fear, and foreboding for what might come next. I think this sentence would fit best nestled inside of (3). Not only will that break up the length of (3), keeping up pacing, but it creates good action-reaction flow.

So let’s see what happens when we shift that single sentence:

“Open up,” said his captor.

The man yanked off Glen’s blindfold. Golden hills rolled all the way to the horizon. Glen swallowed, his throat already dry. [The dunes] towered taller than houses, sand glittering against the sky with each light breeze from the west. He’d never be able to cross that, not by himself.

Suddenly the tension is better! The passage flows a little more smoothly. And we remain grounded in the present.

Of course, there are still some problems with the passage. But just a simple shifting of sentences can make a big difference.

So remember as you edit guys–most of the time go for action first, then reaction. Have your character do something that interacts with the setting, and then use that opportunity to describe the setting…rather than the other way around.

Extra points! I challenge you to play around more with the passage. What would you add? Take away? Good luck!

Posted on March 26, 2012 in Crit Theory · Comments { 0 }

Water Story: Mizu Nomihodai

Some of you may have heard this story before. But it impacted me in ways I feel to this day so. I guess that’s okay.

Happy World Water Day

 

In November of 2009, as I neared the end of Mizu Nomihodai (All you can drink Water, my first charity: water campaign), I got this phone call at my base school.

“[Unintelligible Japanese] water [unintelligible Japanese] newspaper story [unintelligible Japanese].”

I assumed this someone–a very old, grumpy man, judging by the crackling voice and potent use of Iki’s dialect–wanted to donate, but my Japanese was not that good. So I handed the phone to one of my English teachers, Michiko, with an embarrassed, “Can you please help?”

The old karate dojo on the way to Mr. Wakamura's house.

Once she’d hung up, Michiko said, “That was a Mr. Wakamura. He’d like to donate to the campaign, but he can’t drive. Shall we go to his house together tomorrow during lunch break?”

I nodded. “Of course!”

Iki roads can be narrow, barely enough for one car, and twist up and around with no apparent logic. When Michiko and I went to Mr. Wakamura’s, it was raining like the dickens. The windshield of my clunker of a car kept fogging, so I drove at about 20 kilometers an hour–plenty slow enough to crane my neck with interest upon seeing an old karate dojo, plants growing up its side.

“Ah!” Michiko stabbed the map. “That’s the dojo. We’re very close. Take the next right.”

I drove us down a long driveway, past autumn-blooming flowers, to a traditional Japanese house. Michiko rang the doorbell, and after a couple minutes, the door slid open.

“We apologize for intruding,” she said in Japanese, and we both bowed at the stooped old woman in the entryway as her husband hefted himself out of the tatami room nearby. He wore a brown jacket with professor-patches on the elbow, had wide shoulders, and a long yet abrupt face.

“Are you the Wakamuras?” Michiko continued. “This is Kat Brauer. We’re from the junior high school.”

“Yes,” the man said, shoving a white envelope at me. “Here’s the donation.”

The white envelope that contained Mr. Wakamura's donation, set against all the other donations I received through the campaign.

“Thank you very much!” I bowed again. “You are a very kind man! Uhm. Thank you for your hard work!” I didn’t know how to say much more.

“It wasn’t kindness.”

My brow crunched together, and I eyed Michiko. Did he want us to leave?

But Michiko said, “Of course you are very kind. What do you mean?”

What followed was a blur of Japanese I’ll never forget, even though–at the time–it took a few minutes for it to process. I caught words like “Nagasaki,” “World War 2,” and “child.” Then I heard “hot” and “water.” He finished with, “I don’t want anyone else to feel that.”

At the end of his short speech, he snapped, “Thank you for coming, goodbye.” We bowed again, and Michiko and I left.

Once we were back in the car, his words lightbulbed. My jaw dropped. That couldn’t've just happened…could it? I gripped the steering wheel, stared with wonder at the plain white envelope.

I turned to Michiko. “Did he…did he say…”

“Yes. He said,

‘I came to this island after the war. I’m originally from Nagasaki, and I lived there as a child during the war. I survived the atomic bombing. I remember the heat from the bomb. I remember walking for hours each day to get water afterward. When I heard about the charity, I decided to donate. It was terrible after the atomic bomb. I don’t want anyone else to feel that.’”

Michiko and I were quiet. I grabbed a nearby towel and wiped at my fogging windshield. Then, “Wow,” I murmured.

Michiko made this quintessential Japanese noise that says, Yes, that was amazing. I can’t believe it, and I’m so touched right now, too. But all that came out of her mouth was, “It was a good story.”

I swallowed. “Yeah. It was.”

Anyway.

I still get teary-eyed, thinking about that.

Feel like celebrating World Water Day? Donate to a charity, tweet or blog about the Crits for Water campaign, or even write/photograph/draw/what-not your own Water Story.

Autumn flowers near Mr. Wakamura's house.

Posted on March 22, 2012 in Memory, Photo, Water Story · Comments { 4 }

Crit Theory: the Positive Sandwich

This continues the Crit Theory series, part 2 of 4. See yesterdays post about Maybe Not Starting Early.

Tomorrow’s post! The importance of breaks.

Public Service Announcement
I’m pretty sure our excellent guest critiquers already know the following.
And by pretty sure, I mean positive. [PUNS!]
So why am I posting this?
Easy: I want everyone to become great critiquers!
Because, after critiquing every which way over the last year, I’ve discovered that critiquing?
It’s one of the greatest ways to learn to write well.
/Public Service Announcement

The Sandwich:

This is not the positive sandwich, though I'm positive that sandwich is delicious. ::chortle:: PS IS THAT BACON? Zoinks, could I go for bacon right now...

Over the last four years of writing professionally, I’ve had notes from people that, at the root, said this:

  • This ending was a letdown. I think you should do a full rewrite.
  • I don’t like your protagonist.
  • Your grammar is totally wrong.
  • Ad nauseum.

Now, if the comments were exactly that, my reaction would’ve been:

I AM TERRIBLE AND SHOULD TOSS THIS BOOK OUT.
SOMEONE GET ME SOME BOOZE.
[guzzles] I AM TERRIBLE AND SHOULD GIVE UP WRITING.

But instead, the notes were written more like this (Positive is in Blue. Critique in Red.):

  • I really enjoyed the tension and lead-up to the climax. Wow, so much great interaction with the characters. And the boys. OH THE BOYS. But…when we got to the climax itself, it didn’t feel nearly as strong as the lead-up, so I was left unsatisfied. [Here are some ideas to fix it!] Don’t worry; you showed great skill in [insert particular scene]. I’m sure you can do it!
  • What an interesting world you’ve created here. I love all the details and word choice, plus your supporting cast is totally rocking, especially [insert particular character and reason he/she was liked]. But I’m having issues connecting to your protagonist because he’s [reason 1], [reason 2], and [reason 3.] [I think this can be addressed by…]. However, in [this scene] and [this scene] I thought you showed your protagonist’s goals particularly well. More of that, because you did a great job with it!

And so my reactions instead were

I LIKE THE BOYS TOO.
Wait… :(
Well, that’s not SO bad.
Hm, that’s a good fix. Oh, and I’ve just thought of a BETTER one.
OH YAYS. ::cracks knuckles:: Let’s start edits!

These examples utilized three important ideas:

  1. The famed positive sandwich. Start positive. State the critique. Finish with a positive that, preferably, relates to the critique. That first girds me for the harder bits, and the second positive helps me lick my wounds and get excited to fix things. (If I agree with the critique, that is.)
  2. Specificity. Sometimes, yes, it is VERY difficult to articulate why you didn’t connect/like something as much. But please try! It can help the author find even more places to apply your notes and learn from their mistakes. Plus, positive specificity is also great, because then we know what we’re doing RIGHT.
  3. Opinion. Lots of filter words (feel, think, seem) or passive voice softens the impact of the critique. That way, the critique becomes the critiquers opinion, and implies that said critique could be totally off base. This is important! Because
    • Sometimes the critiques are off base.
    • Then it doesn’t seem like you’re attacking the author. Thus making the author less defensive and more likely to swallow the crit.

Also, you do NOT have to provide ideas to fix the issues. I appreciate it, and maybe other authors do, too, because it helps me brainstorm, hence why I included it in the examples.

And finally, if you’re doing line edits, be sure to keep the positivity up in those, too. An entire chapter of of “change this, change that, change this, too,” can be intensely hard to swallow. However, more of a “I think you should change this; I think you should change that; Oh, this is great!; change this?; Wow, that’s great, too!” is much easier.

Fragile egos, us writers has them, even if we don’t like to admit it. ;)

Posted on March 21, 2012 in Crit Theory · Comments { 2 }

Crit Theory: Maybe Don’t Start Early

So this starts a brief “Crit Theory” week, in which I wax about what I’ve learned receiving critiques AND giving critiques.

Tomorrow? The Positive-Sandwich.

Public service announcement
This is my opinion. Do what you think is best.
/public service announcement

I wrote two books before I began seeking critiques. Two full books—beginning, middle, end. (Sorta) Plot. (Kinda) Characters. (Some) World-building. Then I joined Rom Critters (a great community that I would highly recommend), and posted my chapters for critique, thinking it’d be like fanfiction.com and everyone would loff them.

HAHAHAHAHA I BET YOU CAN GUESS WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.

This is what happened. 0_0 Yeah.

Even though all my fab critters used lots of positive reinforcement, I didn’t have a good grasp of grammar. I used passive voice unnecessarily. And likewise unnecessary adverbs. I info-dumped and missed plot holes and…

Well. You get the idea.

Thankfully the positive reinforcement kept me from giving up writing. If it’d been harsher? We all know that “You are making every n00b mistake* ever” is a punch to the gut. But that’s only half the reason why I feel writers should wait a book or two before putting their work up for critique.

The main reason? Voice.

If you throw your work up for slaughter critique, you’ll not only get a lot of advice, but some of the more excited critiquers are going to literally tear your chapters apart. And if, in your excitement to improve, you agree to those changes Full Steam Ahead, then your voice, your style, could get lost in the process. You’re work will sound more like the critiquers than you. And if you get lots of critiques, maybe it’ll turn into a Frankenbook.

So I’m very grateful for Rom Critters, but I’m also so glad I waited two books before joining. Rather than writing to please folks, or writing the way you’re “supposed” to, I wrote what I enjoyed. And yeah, maybe I didn’t have the best execution, but the scenes I chose, the details I highlighted, the flow of the conversation—they were my voice.

Moral of the story

If you’re just starting out, or someone asked you, “I want to write a book, what do I do?”, wait a bit. Are you comfortable in your scenes, in your word choice? And…make sure the folks who do the critique are ones you trust.**

*Yes, I agree that passive voice, adverbs, filter words, etc., don’t have to be “mistakes.” But I DO maintain that if they’re not used purposefully, more often than not…they’re mistakes.
**Like industry pros.

Posted on March 20, 2012 in Crit Theory · Comments { 2 }

Water Story: Kyoto Rain

It rained every day my friend Danielle and I were in Kyoto. The mosquitoes were out in force, too–I got over twenty bites in one day. But I love the way the world changes, shines, even glitters, when it rains.

Photo by Kat

Want to submit a water story? No donation required, and it’ll enter you in a drawing for a great prize. Water Stories are accepted now through June 28.

Posted on March 19, 2012 in Photo, Water Story · Comments { 0 }

It’s Springtime for Crits for Water

Crits for Water 2012.

$10,000.

Two water projects.

500 people with clean water.

Helping authors with connections, friendships, and critiques.

Opens March 31.

Check around the website for more information or contact me with any questions, concerns, or clarifications. I would love a Water Story! Follow the blog and twitter for the fastest updates, and come back next week as I begin waxing poetic about water and critiques. (I know, you’re excited. You’re welcome.)

Posted on March 16, 2012 in FAQ · Comments { 1 }